Question 3 Model answer

Q3)  You now need to think about the whole of the source.

This text is from the beginning of a short story.

How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader?

You could write about:

- what the writer focuses your attention on at the beginning of the source

- how and why the writer changes this focus as the source develops

- any other structural features that interest you.

Student Answer:

The structure of the extract is split into two sections, the first being the present time that Rosabel is in – carrying on with her mundane routine of tea and the bus journey home. The second is a flashback of ‘all that had happened during the day’ at Rosabel’s hat shop. These two sections are directly contrasted and juxtaposed through a number of ways: the actions Rosabel carries out, the actions of the people she is with and the setting of each of the scenes. The fact that Rosabel is the one character that remains constant throughout the extract suggests that she is a central character to the plot of the story. Initially, the writer immediately sets up the time, manner and place of the story. The focus is placed primarily on Rosabel in the beginning with her buying ‘a bunch of violets’ and having ‘so little [for] tea’. This allows the writer to set up the scene and setting for the extract. Later the focus changes to Rosabel getting onto the bus. The fact that the second paragraph shifts from ‘one street’ to ‘everybody in the bus’ reflects the external nature of the outside world compared to the internal environment of the bus. The fact that the writer changes the focus constantly, allows the reader to be brought inside of the bus. The focus then narrows further to Rosabels own internal thoughts of her feeling ‘stifled’. This change in focus provides a smooth transition to the second part of the extract, Rosabel’s flashback.

The writer shifts the focus to Rosabel’s memory of the day she experienced at her ‘hat shop’. The writer juxtaposes two of Rosabel’s customers, ‘the girl who tried on every hat’ and ‘a girl with beautiful red hair’. This juxtaposition makes the description of the second customer more striking, placing significance on her, for the reader. This enables the reader to experience the flashback with greater understanding. The writer changes the focus to Rosabel’s experience with the customer ‘with beautiful red hair’. The fact that the only bits of dialogue in the extract are from Rosabel’s interaction with this customer, reflect the important of the pair’s conversation. This creates mystery around the customer. The fact that the writer ends with the cliffhanger of ‘Rosabel heard her say’ creates more mystery and foreshadows the later parts of the extract, making the reader interested. The fact that the writer shifts from Rosabel’s present experience to her flashback, narrows the focus to Rosabel’s internal thoughts which makes the extract more interesting to the reader. The fact that the narrative perspective remains the same reinforces the fact that Rosabel is a central character which intrigues the reader to find out what happens to her.

Mark: 8/8

Examiner Comments:

This response is both detailed and perceptive. It begins with an overview of the text that demonstrates a clear understanding of structure, and then focuses on specific shifts within the text and analyses their significance. Recognition of the writer constantly narrowing the focus from the jewellers' shops, to the passengers on the bus, to Rosabel's internal thoughts, in order to provide a smooth transition to the flashback of the second part of the text, is particularly perceptive. The response is over-long and the final paragraph adds little, but this does not detract from the quality elsewhere. Subject terminology is used confidently, and is seamlessly embedded throughout the response.