Model Answers for 40/40 in Eng Language Paper 1 Question 2

AQA English Language, Paper 1 Full Mark Responses

Below are grade 9 exemplar answers written in timed conditions crediting full marks.

Rosabel looked out of the windows; the street was blurred and misty, but light striking on the panes turned their dullness to opal and silver, and the jewellers' shops seen through this were fairy palaces. Her feet were horribly wet, and she knew the bottom of her skirt and petticoat would be coated with black, greasy mud. There was a sickening smell of warm humanity – it seemed to be oozing out of everybody in the bus – and everybody had the same expression, sitting so still, staring in front of them. Rosabel stirred suddenly and unfastened the two top buttons of her coat… she felt almost stifled. Through her half-closed eyes, the whole row of people on the opposite seat seemed to resolve into one meaningless, staring face.

Q2) How does the writer use language here to describe Rosabel’s bus journey home?

You could include the writer’s choice of:

- words and phrases

-language features and techniques

- sentence forms

Student answer:

Mansfield uses the contrast of imagery of the street’s windows, which in reality were “blurred and misty” but to Rosabel seemed “opal and silver” under the light. The second description seems almost magical and creates and ethereal atmosphere which gives the reader an insight into how Rosabel views even the “dullness” as beautiful. These images also both allude to jewels creating a sense of lavishness. This is emphasised by how the “jewellers’ shops” seemed like “fairy palaces”. This is an image that incorporates both other worldly as well as rich elements, suggesting that Rosabel does not see beauty in all things under the horrible weather, but rather just the jewellery shops. They are also made to seem unaitanable as faries are not of this world, suggesting that Rosabel feels the jewellers’ shops are not a part of her lifestyle and suggests to the reader that she might be feeling envious.

This ethereal imagery sharply contrasts to how Rosabel then views the rest of the scene. She knew that her coat would “be coated in black, greasy mud”. This is a sharp contrast to the previous descriptions and makes the reader pity Rosabel. The colour black also connotes lack of splendour while directly contrasting the light tone of “silver” used to describe the jewellers’ shop and the image of the mud highlights the contrast between Rosabel’s poor situation compared to the more comfortable and magical alternative previously described.

The people in the bus are also described as dull, showing their lack of appeal to Rosabel and how she does not have interest in them. Alliterating of “sitting so still, staring” is used to show their monotonous actions suggesting to the reader a lack of life and movement. They are also described to have the “same expression” with a “whole row of people becoming one meaningless, staring face”. The lack of individuality creates a sense of dullness while how they’re on the “opposite seat” uses space to show how Rosabel feels distant and opposite in nature from them.

Mark: 8/8

Examiner Comments:

This response demonstrates a perceptive and detailed understanding of language. The candidate selects a range of judicious textual details, analyses the writer's choices and uses subject terminology seamlessly to enhance comments made.

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